Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Confession...

I'm not all that great at being a chemo patient.  I was going to say cancer patient, but my BFF always corrects me and reminds me that the cancer is G-O-N-E. 

I'm a planner, I like to know what's going to happen and prepare myself.  I'm learning that my body and chemo make that almost impossible.  There's no control over what the chemo will do to my body and sometimes there are other wrenches thrown in for good measure.  Things like blobs that suddenly take presence in one's armpit...grrrr...not fun.  So after a trip to the Dr.'s office and a prescription for antibiotics, we're back in the game.  I'm optimistic that the antibiotics will kick the foreign blob to the curb never to make an appearance in my armpit again.  It has not been pleasant.

Admittedly, situations like these scare the heck out of me.  My thought process goes whacko and it's hard for me to stay grounded. Especially today when I had the opposite of my  caring, compassionate, competent, intelligent, adorable surgeon.  She was lacking in the empathy department and I'm pretty sure everything that came out of her mouth sent me into a tale-spin of panic.  

"Hello Doc, can you see the rash all over my body? Yes, those are nerve related hives.  You may want to proceed with caution as to prevent me from erupting into tears of panic. Thanks for your consideration."  What the heck?  I mean really lady, get a clue-you work with cancer patients everyday.  

Moving on...

Someone smart said to me, 
"You should count your blessings before bed".  It helps to put things in perpective. 

Tonight I'm counting my blessings:

-I'm thankful my white blood cell count was A-Ok!
-I have Doctors, regardless of bedside manner, who are able to effectively treat me.
-My body is doing ok, even when the chemo beats the crap out of it.
-This is temporary-for some, it is not.
-I have a support system like no other.
-My family rocks!

and those are just a few of my many, many blessings.

Amazing things happen everyday right before our very eyes, we just have to open them.

“Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.”

-Og Mandino