Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Not a superhero

Amazing, strong, brave, fighter, rock star, superwoman...

These are just some of the words that people have used to describe me over the past 3 months.  They make me uncomfortable; it's not easy to really see myself as any of these things. I've also never been one who likes to be the center of attention and I'm not always good at accepting compliments. I'm working on it...I think we call this initiation by fire.

I simply feel like I am a 42 year old woman dealt a crappy hand and I'm doing what I have to do to survive and carry on with my life. In fact, sometimes, I don't even feel like I'm doing it well. The people closest to me deal with my grouchy self and still come back for more. The whole thing is still a learning process.

I suppose there are some things I am choosing to do, like get up out of bed each morning, but really, I feel like most, given this deal, would do the same. I certainly don't feel like a superhero.

I heard this song on Pandora the other day and some of the lyrics hit me for sure.
I feel incredibly grateful to have the love and support from everyone and I'm working on internalizing and accepting the adjectives you are using to describe and encourage me. It is good for me. Thank you.

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