Monday, December 30, 2013

The present...

I thought that this year would be easier, but sometimes
it didn't really seem that way.  Christmas marked two years since I had the itch, the itch that ultimately saved my life, but that also dragged me through the trenches.  Two years ago seems like a long time a ago, but it also seems like just yesterday. Unfortunately along with all the fun and excitement of Christmas, I have this memory.  I experience some of the same feelings of panic as I did two years ago.  I have to work hard to refocus and count my many blessings, to be in the moment.  

And so, here are some of our moments.

 We made a bunch of those wooden ornaments this year.  I'll have to post that on another day.

 E was excited to give his dog cousin a new outfit for Christmas.

Take a look at the little man's face when he open Blitzen's Reindeer Antlers as he requested.

 There has been way too much of this happening over the past few days.  It's coming to an end VERY soon.  This guy craves routine (as do I), so getting back onto some kind of schedule will be good for all of us.
 We made "place cards" for the Christmas table.  The idea came from Family Fun Magazine.

 Note the antler in E's hand.

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”-Buddha

Tuesday, December 24, 2013


Both E and Little Miss love to sing.  They both recently performed at separate Holiday Concerts.  Both brought tears to my eyes.  There is something about a group of children's voices that melts my heart.  Have  you seen the movie Elf?  If not, you must; it one of the funniest holiday movies.  
One of my favorite quotes from the movie:  
My children have mastered singing loudly. 

You must pass your days in song. Let your whole life be a song.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013


Life is strange.  On our way home from my first follow up appointment the other day, I found myself having a conversation with my husband that I would have never imagined having.  When we were married 17 years ago and were saying our "I do's", I'm pretty darn sure I wasn't thinking about the day I would be driving home from a plastic surgeon's office talking about the recent "work" I had done.  And, how about the fact that I'm having it done because I'm a breast cancer survivor...weird, strange, and still often hard to grasp (even though I'm living it).  

Lately, there seems to be a theme on some of the blogs I follow talking about the beauty that can be found in brokenness.  Hmmmm, oh how I can relate.  There are things one can learn from each and every experience, whether pleasant or unpleasant, easy or hard, fair or unfair.  Sometimes the beauty is not readily apparent, but if you search for it, you can find it. Somedays I'm still searching, but here is the beauty I see right now:

-My two kids- My body would not work to make babies.  Others made babies that they were unable to raise as their own.  My babies grew in my heart.  I can't imagine life without either of them; they are beautifully mine!  

-My marriage- There are things I would have never learned about our relationship had we not experienced some of the tough times.  Our love for one another has been pushed to its limits many times, but it's helped us to grow in so many ways. 

-My parents- I'm not sure I ever took it for granted, but I feel such a sense of appreciation for them these days.  They are there in a heartbeat for anything we need.  There is a familiar comfort with them at all times; they love me through it all. Spending time with them is one of my favorite things to do.    

-My best friend- Where does one even start?  She's pretty phenomenal and puts up with the happy and grumpy me.  Actually some days I wonder how she continues to put up with me (i'm sure she wonders too), but she does, and I'm grateful for it.  We know the nitty gritty parts of each other (more than we ever have) and it's such a blessing to have a relationship you can count on even in the depths of muck! 

-My friendships- So many other people have come into my life because of my experiences.  I'm so humbly grateful for each relationship and friendship.  They all serve such a distinct and individual purpose in my life and make it so much richer and sweeter.

There's my short, quick, list of today's beauty in brokenness...things I would have otherwise not been so keenly aware of or appreciated as I do today. They are relationships that have become so much more beautiful because of the hard times...rainbows after a storm.


Wednesday, December 11, 2013

A peek...

At this year's Christmas Card.

the front:

the back:
(Little Miss and E's names with their ages are listed under the 2013)

Monday, December 9, 2013

'Tis the season...

Our halls our decked.
With my surgery scheduled last week, I got started early and tried to get most of our decorating done.  These are a few recent pictures from my cell phone.

 Thrill of Hope Print found Here.
 My memere handmade these little houses years ago.   I'm pretty sure some of my yearning for creativity came from her.

 Personalized Photo Puzzle found here.
 Memory Game found here.

“Christmas! 'Tis the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial fire of charity in the heart”

-Washington Irving

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Passing the time...

So, it's Sunday, five days after surgery.  It's behind me.  I walked through it, sometimes with my knees shaking and tears flowing, but I did it.  

The hardest thing for me to do at this point is to sit still; I'll take that as a good sign.  

I'm not one to enjoy sitting still; it's not good for my mind or body, but in this case, it's necessary.  To pass the time I watch a lot of TV, read magazines and blogs online, stare at my Christmas tree and sleep.  It's exhausting just sitting around you know!

Thursday I have a follow up with my genius of a plastic surgeon...she's the best, really!  Maybe I'll even get one of my three drains taken out (probably too much information, but just keeping it real people).  

Thank you all for your unwavering support and love; it helps pull me through with a smile on my face. 

Time is a very healing place, one in which you can grow.  ~Denise Tanner