Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Staying Afloat...

We arrived at the hospital yesterday morning at 6:40am and we were on our way home five hours later.  It was pretty much a drive-thru surgery.  It actually was a little crazy how fast they scooted me out of there. And so now I recover.  I've learned some things about myself after having these recent surgeries.  One is that I'm not so good at the recovery part.  It puts me in a funk, I get the blahs, I'm reminded of how I got here in the first place and then I'm just plain ole bitter and grumpy!  And really, being physically uncomfortable is not all that great for my mental and emotional state either.  Honestly, it's sometimes hard for me to stay afloat.  But, I also know that this is temporary and it will always does.  It's just part of the cycle I seem to go through...every time.  

 I look on social media and see things like this...   

and this...
 These are signs that I can do it and so I do, I just keep trying to stay afloat even when the seas are rough. 

Thankfully, I'm surrounded by patient and caring loved ones who put up with me and throw me a life raft when I do feel like I'm sinking.

And now I'm going to end with five things I'm grateful for because it's a good way to change my mental state and who wants to end a blog post with whining?!

-I'm grateful that tonight I feel better than I did yesterday.
-I'm grateful for pink tulips starting to bloom in my yard, even though some were eaten by rabbits. 
-I'm grateful for my loved ones who stick by me and love me through all this "nonsense". 
-I'm grateful for surgeons who can restore a person's sense of self.
 -I'm grateful to have this blog, an outlet for me to share a piece of myself and my family with all of you...thank you for reading!

Monday, April 28, 2014


Tonight I have to set my alarm for 5:00 am because tomorrow morning I am having yet another surgery.   Let's call this part 2 of my reconstruction surgery.  All together there will be four parts.  Part one was the toughest and that is already behind me.  Amen to that! 

Today when I told my kids I was having surgery tomorrow, they barely reacted.  In some ways I was relieved; I don't want them to worry.  But, the fact that this has become routine stinks.  Yes, this surgery is part of something I elected to do, but I think the surprise hysterectomy I had last month pushed me to my limit.  So tonight I have the Let's Just Do It attitude.

I am ready...

Ready for this to be behind me.
Ready to move on without counting the days until the next surgery.
Ready to be completely healed physically and mentally.
Ready to move past the Big C.
Ready to just be a wife and mother, not a patient.

My life hasn't been at a standstill while in the midst of all these surgeries.  In fact for a few days before surgery I seem to get manic and accomplish a lot and try to ignore the upcoming "event". However, I do still seem to feel the anticipation of the next thing lurking.  I'm looking forward to just moving on without counting down the days until the next visit to the O.R.

“We are always getting ready to live, but never living”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sunday, April 27, 2014


One of our favorite Easter traditions...dying eggs.  This year we did 3 dozen and only had a couple of casualties.

 We decided to get serious and go for the medical gloves.
 E was very patient and let the eggs get really bright before taking them out of the dye.  Little Miss, however, just wanted to get hers done.  It was interesting, because typically the roles would be reversed.

Little Miss was just a little excited to wear her "high heels". 
 In years past I have given E and Little Miss clues to find their Easter baskets.  This year they had to make a puzzle to see the clue on the back.

 Our first holiday with Sparkee, so, of course, he needed to be in the photo ;)
 Setting the table is my favorite.

 Our finished eggs make a pretty centerpiece.

 One more of E and Little Miss with their cousin.  Cousins are the best, aren't they?
Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life.  ~S.D. Gordon

Friday, April 18, 2014


I was trying so hard to get back on schedule with blogging more regularly.  This week life got in the way of that. Even the best laid plans are interrupted and priorities take precedent.  

Because my brain is still whirling a bit from the random happenings of this past week, I'll just fill this post with some random photos. 

 I totally stole this idea from Kelle Hampton of Enjoying the Small Things.  She posted a few pictures of her daughter with chalk art on her Instagram ETST

“The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.”

-Ursula K. Leguin

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Little Miss turns 7 party recap...

Let me apologize now for the photo heavy post, but sometimes things are best "said" through pictures.  

As most of you know, our Little Miss turned 7 recently.  Seven sounds so old doesn't it?  Generally my kids have a theme all picked out months before their birthdays.  Little Miss, however, was uncertain this year, so I suggested a paper doll theme, and she actually loved the idea...usually I can't sell her my ideas so easily. I'm pretty sure I have as much fun planning the parties as they have celebrating.  I know that this isn't the case for everyone.  But for those of you who like planning and DIY projects, here's some of what we did. 

For the invitations, I used some paper doll postcards found on Etsy...
image taken from Etsy:  Charm Tape

...and attached this printed side to the back.

I ordered several other paper doll things from Etsy.  You can find the links hereherehere.

Instead of putting the goody bags together, I let the kids pick out their own swag. There were pinwheels, paper straws, bookmarks, bubbles, stickers, fruit snacks and these cute dress-up characters from the Dollar Tree.

I also bought the pink and blue bags at the Dollar Tree (2/$1.00).  I cut out fabric hearts and ironed them on and then printed out thank you cards and attached them with bakers twine (see above photo).

 I decorated the table with vintage hankies, flowers and milk glass favorites!

 (this was before I ironed the tablecloth ;/)
 My mom came over the night before the party to help me make the four layer cake Little Miss was looking forward to.  The cake did not really come out as I pictured it in my head.  The layers kept drooping and sliding, so I wrapped it in a piece of scrapbook paper to take care of the worked, thank goodness!
 By the way, the cake stand is actually glass candle holders from the Dollar Tree, spray painted white.  You can find a DIY here.

 Little Miss enjoyed opening some gifts from her birthmother before the party began.  
 She was especially thrilled to get a Creeper.
 Everyone needs a light up green and red bow to complete the party

For food, we had a Mexican Menu and it was delish.  Unfortunately, I have no pictures of that because I was too busy stuffing my face.

And, that's a wrap on this year's celebration of our Little Miss' day of birth.
"On the eve of your birth, word of your coming passed from animal to animal. The reindeer told the arctic terns, who told the humpback whales, who told the Pacific salmon, who told the monarch butterflies, who told the green turtles, who told the European eel, who told the busy garden warblers, and the marvelous news migrated worldwide."
-On The Day You Were Born

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Let it go...

Chances are by now, you've heard the song by Idina Menzel from the movie Frozen.  And, if you're the parent of a little one, you probably have the words memorized and catch yourself singing it because you hear it played ALL THE TIME.  Little Miss was having her own concert in the yard yesterday.  I was able to snap a few (blurry) pictures before she objected.

 Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door

I don't care what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway.

And here is a video of Little Miss' interpretive dance to the same song.  Forgive the wonky video happening at the middle of the recording, if you even make it to there (it's kind of long...)  Maybe you could skip over that part and go right to the end.  I personally like the end best.  I had something on the stove and did a terrible job multi-tasking.
Also, I'm not sure where some of her moves came from, but I think they may be rated PG. 

"Standing frozen in the life I've chosen
You won't find me, the past is so behind meBuried in the snow"