Charmed moments...

I would like to consider myself a consistent blogger, but I don't think that is really true. I'm an as needed blogger I think. I blog when I need to.  

Sometimes I have a lot to say and other times, my mind is quiet. I'm embracing the quiet times these days because more often than not, things are quite the opposite. 

The most common question asked of me continues to be,"How are you feeling?" And I continue to respond with"Considering what's going on, I'm doing ok." Some days I feel like I'm barely managing and other days I'm doing better than managing. The symptoms I contend with are really due to the chemotherapy pills, not the Big C itself. If the pills are strong enough to destroy the "Little F----ers", then they also tend to beat the rest of my body up as well. But,the symptoms are improving.

At the end of this month I have the appointment for my scans. With that upcoming date, I become more anxious. It seems "safest" for me to remain cautiously optimistic (a phrase I was introduced to by our social worker when we were going through the adoption process). 

I will have the results of those scans by Easter. I, of course, will share them.

I followed Little Miss outside with my camera in hand the other "spring-like" day and she said, "What are you going to take pictures of?"

"Can I take pictures of you?"

"Mom, you know I like to be alone outside."

After a small dose of begging, she let me take a few. It felt good to pick up my camera, walk around the yard and snap some photos, something I haven't done much of lately. I will continue to focus on these moments.

“...there is no such thing as a charmed life, not for any of us, no matter where we live or how mindfully we attend to the tasks at hand. But there are charmed moments, all the time, in every life and in every day, if we are only awake enough to experience them when they come and wise enough to appreciate them.” 

― Katrina Kenison, The Gift of an Ordinary Day: A Mother's Memoir

Reflecting...

I turned my computer on to upload some pictures and then I found myself reading through some of the past posts on my blog.  I'm not really sure what started it, but reading through some of them stirred up all sorts of emotions for me.  In a nutshell, I'm so glad I have this outlet to document this wonderful, unique and crazy life I live. I'm grateful to be able to go back and reflect on the many seasons. 

Ever since the dreaded Christmas of 2011, December is a rough month for me.  I don't even think I realize how hard it is until it arrives and I start to feel slightly out of whack (even more so than usual ;).  As time marches on, things are definitely getting easier, but this season certainly still acts as a trigger for some increased anxious moments.  It has been three years, but yet the moment is still so clear in my mind.  I feel like for the entire month of December, I hold my breath...and then finally after I get through New Year's, I feel like I can take a deep breath and go on with life once again.  Honestly, I'm waiting for the day when I have to struggle to remember the feelings of that day, but for right now, they are quite vivid. 

But, just to show that I'm not completely paralyzed by the anxiety that enters with the holidays, here are some glimpses of our Christmas.  

For me, the original play becomes an historical document: This is where I was when I wrote it, and I have to move on now to something else.

August Wilson

Blog Header Issues...

I haven't had a blog header for about 2 weeks because every time I upload it, the quality seems to be terrible.  It's fine before I upload, but then, yuck! I'm going to leave it up for now and may this serve as my disclaimer for the poor quality of my blog banner.  I'm aware of it, but I'm going use my father-in-law's good enough philosophy and carry on with other things for now.

I always find beauty in things that are odd and imperfect - they are much more interesting.

Marc Jacobs

Blog Banner...

If you get my blog posts through email or on your phone, click on over to my blog to check out my new banner.  It's pretty cute, if I do say so myself!

 Here are some of my others from the past year...I couldn't find all of them because I have a new computer and I'm not so hot at filing things properly.  

That is all!

Beware...

...of Malware!  Did anyone get that warning when they logged onto my blog over the past week?  I did!  If you're lucky, that is all you experienced.  Apparently some of us got more than we bargained for...if you were one of the unlucky ones, let me apologize.  Something I downloaded to display my instagram photos caused chaos on my blog and resulted in offensive pop up windows and audio.  I, of course, had no idea what caused the problem, but my Techy husband got to the root of the issue, so thank you Vic...xo!

Being offended is part of being in the real world. Courtney Love 

Perspective...

"The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself."

-Henry Miller

There are two blogs that I have followed for a while now and coincidentally both blog authors  had books come out today.  Both share the inspirational message that there can be triumph through the difficult times in our lives.  Check out the links below to be inspired.

Heaven is Here, by Stephanie Nielson

and 

Bloom, by Kelle Hampton

Headers from the Year

Face Lift

My blog was in need of a face lift, and I must say, I'm quite happy with the results. Typically, I get bored easily and like to change my header every month, but the last one has been up for at least 2. With the return of work and school upon us, I'm thinking this one may be there until Christmas, but we'll see. For now, I'm happy with it.

"Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship."

Buddha

Imperfectly Fabulous

So, I know I've gone on tangents about it before and recently too, but I guess I'm just trying to convince myself that what I write is true. Therefore, I'm going to talk about it again in the hope that this time, I actually believe myself. The "IT" is blogging. "IT" can be a stressful thing, especially when you're a perfectionist and slightly insecure. "IT" can often make you feel like you're not good enough, that you should be doing more for your kids, taking better photographs, or attracting more "fans". What really matters??? The reality is that we all have things going on in our lives that are not so glamorous, but, it seems, we rarely mention them; I applaud those who do. Everyone's life is so darn "fabulous" and for some reason, the competition is there to be even more fabulous. Well, forget it...I'm vowing to be imperfectly fabulous and in honor of this new found "freedom", here are some imperfectly fabulous photographs from this past Friday.

Give me the comma of imperfect striving, thus to find zest in the immediate living. Ever the reaching but never the gaining, ever the climbing but never the attaining of the mountain top.

Winston Graham

PS Anyone else having trouble with changing the color and size of the font on blogger?

327

I noticed today that it's my 327th post....not all that significant, just that I happened to glance up and see that number. Sometimes I'm not sure what to make of this blogging gig. It's fun, but yet at the same time, the stress of posting something worthwhile often creeps in to ruin the party. But then, I stop and gain a better perspective on things; all this thinking and analyzing destroys the moment. And so, I just pull out some tidbits from my life and post.

On Saturday, we walked to the end of our street to watch the cyclists in the Pan Mass Challenge. Lance Armstrong was a participant in this year's ride...pretty exciting, even though we didn't get to see him. We were there a whopping 3 minutes before Little Miss was stung by a wasp....yuck!

Later in the day we went to Cousin Michael's Boot Camp Birthday Party. Even Little Miss wanted camo face paint.

But, who says a girl with Camo face paint can't have red toenails? She is now asking me to paint her toenails and wants a princess party for her next birthday. I'm loving painting the nails, but as for the princess parties, I'm not so into that. We have several months before the next birthday, so we can work on that.

...and that's a wrap on #327.

Thanks to those of you who are interested in the tidbits of our life!

I love life because what more is there.
Anthony Hopkins

Blog Header

So, I was all excited about my new blog banner. When I was making it, I thought it was pretty cute, and then, I posted it. I'm not liking it so much anymore. It looks drab and boring compared to last month's.

But, guess what....we have to deal with it for a few days because I'm not starting another one right now.

"Always live up to your standards - by lowering them, if necessary."

~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

PS Stayed tuned...new blog header coming Monday.

***Edited*** Now that's better! Definitely brighter than this.

Copycat Easter

I love the Springtime, and with Easter, there is no better way to celebrate its arrival!

This post is pretty much filled entirely with projects that were inspired by other blogs. I believe I saw this Peeps in the Grass on Heather's Life Made Lovely Monday post a couple of weeks ago, but I can't find it right now. We planted grass seed and watched as the peeps slowly began to hide in the grass; it was a fun project for the kids. As the weather became warmer, the peeps attracted some ants...not so fun.

After seeing, Julie's "Ode to Spray Paint" Post ,
I took a trip to Home Depot.

I loved the yellow of Julie's jars, but for some reason, the yellow wasn't sticking to my jars. I ended up using stickers to spell out the word love and then spray painted green over the yellow. Now, just a glimpse of the yellow shows through. I'm not giving up on the yellow...I'm going to see if using a different kind of spray paint will work. I would definitely recommend the glossy spray paint if you wanted to do this project. I wasn't sure what I would like better, so I tried both. I'm a fan of the glossy.

And, the chicks, also from Heather's blog...found here. This was my favorite...E's rockin chick! (There are some more of our chicks in the previous photos.)

Thank you Blogland (is that one word or two?) for all the inspiration!

I hope you all had a Blessed Easter!

"Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life."

~S.D. Gordon

I'm linking up with Heather today at Life Made Lovely Monday.

Check it out for endless inspiration.
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By the way, is anyone else having trouble with their "followers" list on their blog? Mine hasn't shown up for a week. I'm wondering if it's something internal or with blogger.