It's Friday people! As Little Miss says, "two days off"...I don't know about you, but this week flew by for me. I can cross another 5 days of radiation off my list. This week has been filled with breakfast and lunch dates with family and friends...I've done a lot of eating. Thanks to those of you in my life who have helped my cup to overflow. It's been a week that has filled my heart...I'm a blessed girl.
Here are some instagrams from the week.
1. Little Miss as Snow White 2. BFF and me 3. Date night :) 4. Me at 40. 5. Little Miss in her soccer gear. 6. Safety ball 7. Dad grilling for my birthday 8. How to eat a cupcake 9. Plenty to practice on 10. E and a big green bug 11. Little Miss babysitting Bebe for her friend B 12. The big green bug
"Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing. " Camille Pissarro
Now that I have your attention....I'm not talking about the kind where you take your clothes off. Although, it is the kind that may result in that in the end....HOT FLASHES! Have you had them? They stink! You see, one of the other side effects of my cleanse is that my ovaries have been "shut off" and my body is being forced into menopause...don't worry though folks, I may come out of it in the next 5 years...hurray for that! I'm hoping it's a little sooner.
Anyway, if you haven't had them...consider yourself fortunate. It's a strange sensation and unlike sweating and being hot in general, it starts inside your body and works its way out. When in the middle of a full-blown hot flash, the heat is pretty much intolerable. The good news is, they pass relatively quickly and really, what's the big deal about a little sweat...
I'm thinking this is one of those days you're so happy you checked in to read my blog...sorry...
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."George Carlin
So, this is what 40 looks like. Actually, to be completely honest, it looks like this minus the hair. We had a date night the other night and I decided to "wig out". (ha!) It was nice to blend in, but man, the hair was not all that comfortable.
Here's me and my man. A full stomach makes him very happy.
(My eyebrows are starting to come in...can you see them?)
On Saturday, we went to Mom and Dad's house and they grilled quite a meal for us. Yummy! Thanks Mom and Dad!
My brother taught us a new way to eat a cupcake. I suggest you try it the next time you are given the opportunity. It turns the ordinary into the extraordinary. Really, it seems ridiculous, but, I dare you to do it, it's life changing. Well, not really, but it will change the way you eat a cupcake. It's more fun too!
My actual birthday started off with Little Miss and E singing Happy Birthday while Vic carried over the usual birthday breakfast...cinnamon buns with a candle. At that moment, I knew it was going to be an emotional day. I think all birthdays cause me to be reflective, but yesterday, even more so. Vic thought I was upset that I was turning 40, but really, it was the opposite.
The only thing I could think of while my kids sang was how grateful I was that I made it to 40, and that they could sing to their Momma...thank you GOD! When initially getting diagnosed with the Big C, your own mortality is at the forefront of any thoughts...
Commercials like these were stuck in my head each time someone wished me a happy birthday and I got emotional every time.
And outside of church, when Sister Cecile, who was celebrating 60 years of religious life, hugged me and told me she prayed for me everyday, I could barely compose myself. I'm one more of the birthdays being celebrated, and I'm quite certain, I won't take that for granted anytime in the near future. The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. Oprah Winfrey
About a month ago, I promised some more pics from our backyard tea party. Here they are...
Surprising to us, the boys wanted to get involved and be waiters. They went into E's closet and found matching attire for the occasion. I love these moments when they remind us that they are still such little boys and it is "cool" to play pretend.
Little Miss and her friend B didn't take long to adjust to being waited on like princesses...
Some of us have more refined skills than others.
Yellow? tea juice.
A heart-shaped seat, carved by nature.
After serving, the boys deserved a break and thought it best to invade the party.
So, it's been 5 weeks since my last cleanse. I thought I'd have more hair by now. Turns out I was mistaken and it's actually more likely to take a "good 4 months" for a buzz cut and 6 for a pixie. This information is definitely reliable, as it comes from two lovely ladies who have been down this road.
I had a dream the other night that my hair grew back with kinky gray curls...lovely. In my dream I was walking around, very proud to have my hair back and completely oblivious to what it looked like to the outside world. When I looked in the mirror I saw long brown locks, but to everyone else, kinky gray curls. Let me stop myself a moment and mention that there isn't anything wrong with kinky gray curls; they just aren't for me. For now, I'll continue to wear my kerchiefs and maybe if the weather really cools off, I'll wear my wig a couple more times.
In the meantime, things are seemingly "normal" around here. I even made dinner twice last week. Now that I think about it, there is nothing normal about that. :) For those who don't know-I don't cook...Victor is the cook, he enjoys it, I don't.
The routine of September has been good for all of us and we are enjoying the brisk mornings that the fall brings. We are looking forward to apple and pumpkin picking.
With fall comes the big 40 for me. Although I thought I'd be finished my treatments by the time I made this milestone, I'm grateful for how far I have come and look ahead to the peak of the mountain...I'm almost there. On the days that this is hard for me to remember, I continue to have my amazing support system cheering me on and reminding me of how far I have come. It is then that I can put one foot in front of the other and get through this one step at a time.
“To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping."
It seems I didn't take too many photos with my phone this week, but here's what I have...
1. Little Miss modeling her recital costume. 2. The girls' room sign. 3. Me and Little Miss snuggling.
4. Picking the grass at her brother's soccer game. 5. Hamming it up for the "camera" 6. Celebrating a special birthday. 7. My jumpsuit gown and assigned # 8. Fall. 9. More fall. 10. Cubbies for assigned jumpsuits gowns. 11. Modeling the gown. 12. Strict rules
I'm Linking up
Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.Confucius
Today was day 2 of radiation and here is what I have learned so far...
-The total appointment takes about 30 minutes.
-I must lie down perfectly still with my head turned to the left and my right arm up in some shackles holder thingy.
-The tech will most likely have to remind me every time to uncross my legs (it's such a habit).
-I don't feel anything.
-It is not that noisy. Today I had a different machine and it was slightly louder.
-The total time I actually get the radiation is about 1 minute (yes, one!) Today I counted, and plan on doing the same tomorrow. Most of the time is spent lining me up to be in the perfect position and checking and double checking-I like that.
-I probably will not start seeing any topical effects of the treatment for 2-3 weeks.
-The fatigue may not set in at all and if it does, generally it will be towards the latter part of the treatment.
-I will see the doctor and have blood drawn once a week.
-Not everyone has a drab color jumpsuit hospital gown. (There is me, #32, on the upper left)
-It is called a gown because it almost hits the floor. Maybe I could dress this baby up with some heels.
-Someone is VERY!!!!!!!! serious about the cubby system to reuse the gowns.
"Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn. " C. S. Lewis
The arrival time for my radiation appointment was 8:15...might as well get the fun over with early in the morning. I actually didn't have any radiation today, but they confirmed my measurements to see if they had to make any adjustments. I had to stay very still while they did this for a good 40 minutes...I'm pretty sure I almost dozed off or was in some other world because when S, the tech came back in, she startled me and I almost pooped my pants.
When I first arrived this morning, I was greeted by S and she directed me to the dressing room where I was given my very own gown with a #32 on it. Because of the gown's drab color and the number assigned to me, I started to feel a bit like an inmate. Being perfectly still in an unnatural position with my arm up added to this feeling.
Why are the gowns so drab?....yuck! A little color never hurt anyone. Actually, I think some of the gowns are more colorful. I'm going to have to scope out the situation tomorrow. Too bad this is my gown for the next 35 treatments. Do you think it would be too much to ask for a nicer one? Maybe I can earn one for good behavior.
There is no greater hell than to be a prisoner of fear.Ben Jonson
Yes, I'm still here. It's strange. I feel like I have so much to say, but at the same time, I have nothing. When I sit down to finally do a post, my brain is just so tired and on overload that my head starts to hurt. Although school started last week, I still haven't gotten in the groove yet, but the routine is coming, I can feel it. Summer is fading and with today's crisp breeze, it's becoming real that fall is right around the corner, as is a certain someone's 40th birthday.
In the meantime, while I get my thoughts sorted out, here are a few pictures from the first days of school.
So far, so good. Both Little Miss and E seem to be enjoying their time learning in school.
Tomorrow starts the next step in this Big C journey...radiation. Anticipation of new things is not fun-I'll be glad when I can say the first week is done.
A great source of calamity lies in regret and anticipation; therefore a person is wise who thinks of the present alone, regardless of the past or future. Oliver Goldsmith
We went on a mini vacation to New Hampshire last weekend. I really had no desire to lug my big, heavy camera around Santa's Village and Storyland, so we have several pictures taken on my phone to remember our time away. Here are a few that I posted to Instagram.
1. Tired boy after a long day 2. Moose sighting 3. Big ole chimney
4. Family photo on the train 5. Santa's Village 6. Mommy and Daddy in Santa's Sleigh
7. SANTA 8. Sleeping Beauty 9. Reindeer
10. Swing 11. The Cog 12. (Hey, it's the tired boy again-how did that happen? Sorry for the repeat)
1. On the road. 2. Beautiful view 3. Magazine reading
4. E's car 5. Playground 6. Welcome
7. Two princesses 8. Playing school 9. Little Miss Muffet