Little Miss

 Five years ago today our Little Miss was born. 

  Every time I write about one of my kids being born, I have to stop and try to compose myself before finishing the post.  (You'd think I'd have the box of tissues near the computer by this point)  It just never gets old.  I'm sure if you've given birth, you certainly have some of the same moments of awe and gratefulness when you recall the day your child came into the world.  For me, it's like my heart could explode with gratitude... it's a humbling experience to become a parent and to personally be "chosen" to be a Mommy by birth parents is on a completely different level...

We are blessed, and we are reminded of that on a daily basis when we look into the big blue eyes of our daughter.   

Happy Birthday Little Miss.   We are grateful each and every day that life lead us to you.  

And, to complete this post...the lyrics to one of my favorite birthday songs.

"ON THE DAY THAT YOU WERE BORN

On the day that you were born

the flowers bloomed and the unicorn

danced and sang the whole day long

on the day that you were born.

On the day, on the day,

on the day that you were born,

on the day, on the day,

on the day that you were born."

Embracing with the Buzz Cut...

Lots of photos from the Pinkalicious Celebration with some of my favorite Peeps.
(Sorry for the photo overload.)

My baby brother and I...

 Cousins...

 The Buzz Cut Posse...

 Mom and Dad...

Aunt...

My love....I'm not so sure about these pictures...I remind myself of a drag queen.  I think the pink boa around my neck probably puts my look over the top.

 Cousins...

Friends...

These are just a few members of my crew who are helping me to navigate the BIG C ship safely to shore.  I couldn't do it without them and I'm blessed to have them embrace me and come along for the ride. 

"It's a choice.  You just have to decide that I'm not going to put my energy there.  I'm going to decide to let this go.  It's your choice.  You can embrace it, you can become a prisoner of bitterness and resentment anger and victim city or you can just say I'm going to live my life and be happy." 

-Dr. Phil

I'm linking up with Emily today at The Anderson Crew for Embrace the Camera Day.

The Day After...

I have been feeling very tired today following chemotherapy yesterday; I think I laid on the couch for four hours today.  I'm not  one to sit still for very long, so this really went against my grain.  But, these are the days I must listen to my body and take this temporary job as cancer patient seriously, so I did.  

Today I got a card from Mom and Dad; they always seem to know just what to say at just the right time.  Just one more huge blessing I have in my life.

 I've said it before...and on the days following chemo I think it's especially true to feel emotionally and physically run down and overwhelmed by the intrusion of the BIG C.   I continue to do  a double take in the mirror as I walk past catching a glimpse of my thinning buzz cut.  It's just so darn surreal...STILL!  I have cancer... me, 39 year old wife, mother of two little ones...I have it.  How can that be?  I did everything I was supposed to.  I went for regular mammograms, had breast exams at the doctor's office every 6 months, ate well, in shape (for the most part), I don't smoke and I have an occasional glass of wine.  But, yes, I have breast cancer.

But, by the time I'm forty I will also have kicked its butt.  Check that off my resume.

"In all things it is better to hope than to despair."

-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

PS  Treatment was definitely easier this time because of my port. :)

"Uh, Ma?"

"Yes E."

"Do you think you could put that thing on your head?"

"Do you mean the kerchief?"

"Yes."

"Why, are you embarrassed by Mommy's buzz cut?  I thought you liked it."

"Well, the kids were asking if my dad was married to another dad?"

The husband and I burst out laughing and then proceeded to get the real story.  Really...we laughed....it was funny!  

Before I go on, let me first say that I am open to all types of relationships.  One of our favorite books is this one that talks about all types of families, those with a mom and dad, those with one parent, those with two moms or two dads, and our favorite, those who became families through adoption.

So, the story:  We went to pick E up at school and when we were about to drop him off at acrobats, he then asked me to wear my kerchief.... 

We questioned the accuracy of the story because there was no way he had time to have this conversation with his friends after he saw me because he hopped right into the car...AND, I was a bit defensive because I had my make-up, sunglasses and big ole earrings on...I was trying...

The real (what we could decipher) story is:

E was telling his friends that I shaved my head and that started some confusion (quite possibly in the way E articulated the story) and then one of his friends said, "What?  I'm confused....Is your dad married to another dad?"   I think the truth of the matter is that E is perfectly fine with me walking around the house with my buzz cut, but publicly, he's just not there yet, and me, well, I'm not really sure that I am quite ready either.

Another side note:  I'd also like to point out that I am perfectly comfortable with girls who are not so into the "typical" look...girls who may choose to buzz their hair and/or wear less jewelry and no skirts... I'm good with that.  Be who you are and be comfortable with it!  I think there are many beautiful people out there and they don't all fit into the "typical" box....life would be boring and too predictable if that were the case.  Can buzz cuts be beautiful and feminine?  Absolutely!  I think this previous post already addressed that.

The thing is...I lean towards the more predictable, safe look... I like to wear skirts, lipstick, and jewelry, and I'm not yet 100% comfortable in my buzz cut. It's hard for me to step out of the box with my look (hello?...I don't like to order from a drive thru, remember?), although I'm beginning to see the possibilities.  

 

 It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength.

Maya Angelou

Pinkalicious Party Pictures

WARNING:  This post is packed with pink, pink and more pink.  

I'm letting the pictures tell (most of) the story today.  Enjoy!

 Little Miss made the labels.

 This one is my favorite. 

 A pinkalicious cupcake cake made out of cupcakes.  To see all my cupcake cakes click on the word cupcakes under the labels section on the right sidebar.

 A No-Sew Fabric Garland made with old fabric from Memere's house.  

 Little Miss helped to make this.  She punched out the circles, put the number stickers on and then adhered them to the banner all by herself.  I'm so happy to have another fan of craftiness in the house with me.

Bubbles.

 Photo Booth Props...if you look closely, you can see that Ellie made it into the basket.

 Found these hats for a bargain...$1.00 a piece...perfect craft for a Pinkalicious Party.

 I'm kind of crazy about these paper banners...and that "fairy" photo of Little Miss.

  Look at Little Miss closing her eyes ;)  You can see some of the hats in the photo too....they came out really cute!

 Sitting in a sea of pink...

Fun is good.

Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.

Dr. Seuss

PS Thanks Auntie Shann for taking some photos. ;)

Pinked Out...

We're a bit pinked out over here, but I'll be back tomorrow with a Pinkalicious Party Recap.  It was a fun time!

I don't think I will ever get tired of wearing pink.Emma Bunton

As promised...

I figured out how to upload a video from my phone, and I'm proud to say, I did it all by myself...I didn't even have to ask the husband.  

First my disclosure: I initially didn't realize I was being videotaped.  The terrible face I am making is because the buzzers made my entire head vibrate.  I'm not a fan of the sound on my head; it's eerie...  Does anyone else who has experienced a buzz cut agree?

Anyway, here I am in all my glory.  

Phew, I was worried about the shape of my head.  When you feel your own head, there are all sorts of lumps and bumps...go ahead, try it.  Apparently, it turns out mine is just fine.  
Thanks Mom and Dad!  


By the way, I still have the buzz...  I'm losing hair daily, but I'll hang onto it as long as I can.  I still sleep with something on my head at night because I just can stand the thought of my pillow having hair all over it.  I'm much better at dealing with shaking the hair out of my hat in the morning.


There is one thing about baldness:  it's neat. 


 ~Don Herold

P.S.  I had surgery this morning to get a port.  All is well and this should make my infusions and drawing blood much easier.  Surgery is never fun, but it seems this was worth it.

BUZZ....

It didn't take me long to make a decision about my hair..it needed to go.  I could not deal with the anticipation of it falling out in clumps and finding half my head of hair on my pillow in the morning.  Today was the day I got a buzz cut and let me tell you something, it felt great!  Really...it was so freeing, and I was in charge.  Who would have thought a buzz cut would feel so right?  

Here I am texting my hubby that Little Miss is about to buzz my hair.  I asked if he wanted to Face Time on our phones, but he politely declined.

Little Miss stayed interested for about 60 seconds and then she was off to play.

I went for the Mohawk first.  That is E's tough guy expression...the Rock Star look.

My hair was short to begin with, but when you get a buzz cut, you reach a whole new level of short...a place few of us may ever go.

My friend Lauren took time out of her day to give me a Rockin' Buzz Cut (don't worry...that's not the end result...this was the Mohawk halfway through the process)

Here's the end result with my rocks of support. 

 Photo, courtesy of E.

 

  

This before photo is rough...yikes...that's the result of wearing a kerchief on your head all day.  No worries about my hair looking like that now...talk about low maintenance.

The best part of the entire process was E...."Mommy, that haircut isn't so bad; actually, it looks kind of good."  Thanks buddy.  If an 8 year old can be ok with Mommy's new do, so can I.  Little Miss was not so sure at first, but I think it may be growing on her and it only took a little convincing to get her to pose for a picture with me.  

I tried to upload a video of today's event, but it's taking me a little time and I may have to consult my Tech. Guy (aka: husband).  Stayed tuned for the video:  coming soon.

All photos from this post were taken by mom:  I think she has a hidden talent.  Thanks Mom!

Expecting is the greatest impediment to living. In anticipation of tomorrow, it loses today.Lucius Annaeus Seneca