Thursday, July 11, 2013

Some days are hard... was one of them, and wait, so was yesterday.

Part of yesterday's difficulty was with the fact that I had an appointment with my caring, compassionate, competent, intelligent, adorable surgeon.  Have I mentioned that he is moving to Australia to be a part of a new Cancer Center that is opening in Sydney?  When I say he is the best doctor I have ever had, I really mean it.  He is not only completely competent, he actually genuinely cares about his patients, one of which happens to be me.  He remembers personal conversations we have had about my kids and takes the time to treat "all of me", not just my Cancer.  I am not just what is written in my chart, and he makes sure to make that a reality.  So anyway... I had heard he was leaving from my radiation oncologist (who, by the way, is also leaving).  But, at yesterday's appointment, he told me personally.  I'm glad I already knew because it was less of a shock.  However, he asked for a hug.  I was not expecting it at all, and I lost it.  I couldn't hold it together and started crying.  Until that moment, I don't think I realized how much he had actually impacted  my treatment and how I have managed throughout the process.  

He was the first doctor at the center that we met with.  He was kind and honest, but also reassuring.  He told me that I would be okay.  One month later, he cut the alien blob out of me and has followed my treatment since then.  I am grateful that he was my surgeon and that he was there when I needed him.  I'd like to think that I won't be needing him to do any further surgeries, but it was kind of comforting to know he was there. He absolutely has been a safety net for me and at that moment yesterday, I felt like someone yanked it away and I was falling.

I'm glad I had an appointment with him before he moves onto his next journey.  I could thank him again one last time.  Then me and my hive covered self (my nerves sometimes show up as hives on my chest and neck) left the room to schedule an appointment with another surgeon for my next follow-up.

So, that's one of my stories from yesterday.  There are more, but honestly, they probably will not be shared here.  We all have hard days.  Aren't they supposed to be what helps us grow as individuals?  I suppose this may be true, but perhaps the growth process could be spread out a little because for the past couple of days I seem to be experiencing a "growth spurt" in the area of character development.  I could use a break.

The good thing about hard days is...

We can try again tomorrow.

"It is a new day and a new chance to try again."

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