Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Silver Lining...

Today, September 1, 2015, should have been my first official day back to work. Although I don't mind taking some time off, my reason for doing so I could do without. Today was actually harder than I anticipated.

I found myself several times saying, "Really, this is my life? How did this happen?" This is so very hard to swallow and comprehend. Yuck, yuck, yuck! I found myself envious of all those starting the school year just as they always do, with a normal routine. My routine will never be "normal" as I once knew it. I'm trying to find my way through this storm. I feel like the storm starts to calm a bit and then wham, I get the wind knocked out of my sails once again. I'm quite sure that it's going to require some time to perfect this navigation. Although my old routine had some bumps and tough times, I'd take it back for sure because this is not easy.

Tonight I have the task of composing emails to teachers to make them aware of our situation. As I type them, I'm sure I will still find it hard to believe that I am talking about my family and our story. My mind will "detach" from the reality that this is indeed my life. But, in truth, it is my reality and I own it. 

Wah, wah, I'm not a fan of my whining or feeling bad for myself; it generally doesn't help. But, sometimes a girl has to do what she has to do. Though the whining may be unpleasant to listen to, if I don't do it, I think I'm denying myself the actual feelings that occur with this diagnosis and that could get ugly if I don't process them. So, blah, blah, I'm done...thanks for listening.

Meanwhile, there was a silver lining today through the clouds. I was able to go along for the ride to drop-off my loves on their first days of school and I was also able to be there right when they got out of school. 

Little Miss started 3rd grade.
 This handsome boy started 6th grade.
They really do love and adore each other, best friends for sure. 
Along with this four legged boy. 

To all of you starting the new school year: have fun and enjoy every moment, even the ones that are hard, annoying and monotonous. Go make a difference! 

No comments: