Wednesday, April 12, 2017

100% Loved...

It's been a while since I have connected with my blog readers.  So today seems like a good day to do so. 

It's hard to believe our Little Miss just celebrated her tenth birthday. She's pretty fantastic, creative, sensitive, intuitive and overall beautiful. We feel blessed each and every day to have her  as part of our family. And then there's E who is now officially a teenager...UGH! He too, is full of great qualities and is growing more mature each day. 

Having two children with recent birthdays definitely makes me extra sensitive. Singing "Happy Birthday" just brings the reality of my illness to the core and I can't help but work extra hard to have faith that I'll have many more celebrations to be a part of.

It's not always easy to be Little Miss or E these days. The Momma they have currently has her own challenges and struggles in life and it is certainly not the same one they had in their younger years. She lacks energy and drive and relies on others to keep her and her family afloat. Just as it's hard for me to depend on others to help me; I know it's difficult for my children to do the same.  

I'm asked on a regular basis how I am doing.  I generally pause and say, I'm doing ok at the moment. Then there are times when I'm not feeling great at all and I say "I'm not doing so great." The not so great days may consist of small seizures which are body parts going numb for short periods of time or very blurry vision. This is not too alarming to the brain doctor, but for me it's disturbing. I become unsteady, somewhat panicked  and unsettled. For the past week I've also felt a bit nauseous and bloated. 

I share this with you because I want you to be comfortable checking in with how I'm doing. I also want you to be ok with the response I give.  I want you to have faith but not sympathy for me. My entire family is learning on a a daily basis, maybe not how we'd like to, but we are a stronger as individuals and as a family because of this miserable yuck.

I was finding myself answering with I'm doing fine or I'm doing ok....and after a while, it wasn't making sense because that wasn't entirely true.  Now you may even get some "I feel like shit" some days.  I'm not going to try present myself as something I'm not. I'm a human with Metastatic Cancer. Some days I have energy to go for walks and play games with my kids and some days I'm barely able to rise up from the couch. 
I do the best I can each day with the support of those WHO love me. 

I think checking in on people and seeing how they are doing is a loving and kind gesture. Although the responses are not always positive and they can be scary, it is the truth and it can show first hand how strong LOVE it.


صيانة توشيبا said...

شركة دليل الصيانة الشامل تقدم صيانة توشيبا الان في كل المحافظات و باقل التكاليف فقط تواصل معنا نصل اليكم اينما كنت ، مركز خدمة صيانة ويرلبول يقدم عروض خاصه علي جميع انواع قطع الغيار بالاضافه الي الضمان و ضمان خاص ضد عيوب الصناعة

صيانة كريازي said...

مركز خدمة صيانة كريازي جاهز لتلقي اي بلاغات و شكاوي لاصلاح اي عطال باي جهاز خاص بك ومن اي ماركة و علي يد مختصين في صيانة كافه انواع الاجهزة الكهربائيه من شركة كريازي

صيانة الكتروستار said...

شركة العالمية توفر الان صيانة الكتروستار باقل التكاليف داخل جميع المحافظات و جميع انواع الاجهزة الكهربائيه فلدينا اكبر فريق صيانة باستخدام احدث تقنيات الصيانة

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olivia said...

Embrace the love, every day.

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