E asked if he could read my blog the other day, I thought it would be a better idea for him to help me write a post. Surprisingly he agreed. As we all know, it's not always easy to express our feelings and talk about hard things, but I couldn't be prouder of his willingness to talk with bravery and honesty.
He told me to ask him questions and he'd answer them.
What kind of feelings do you experience as a child of someone with cancer?
Sadness, anger and discomfort, especially when my parents are not home because I get nervous about what's going on.
What is the best way for you to handle these feelings?
I feel comfortable asking questions to close family members, especially my mom in my case. Sometimes I get angry at my loved ones and the way their schedules have changed, but you have to support them.
What are some other ways you could deal with the situation?
If you feel uncomfortable you could always read kids books about parents who have Cancer. My favorites are "The Cancer that Wouldn't Go Away" by Hadassa Field and "When Someone You Love Has Cancer" by Alaric Lewis (Click on the titles to connect directly to Amazon).
There are many ways I help my mom, such as chores and lifting heavy things. It may seem like I'm doing more work around the house but really, I'm just helping my mom.
Sometimes my mom having Cancer is very hard because I think about her dying. She had it before and she said it would go away. When she and my dad told me it was back, it was the worst day of my life. It's still so hard but I distract myself by playing video games, reading books and playing board games.
It's always ok to express your feelings, and sometimes you may even cry; that's ok too.
And don't think that just because they have Cancer, they can't have fun and still do things with you. My mom and I like to go on walks and this is a way we can talk about things.
Thank you for listening, E.
Remembering back to the day we told E I had Cancer again was so painful. How do you even begin to explain such yuck?! The honesty of it hurts.
The hardest part of this disease continues to be the uncertainty of it all and how it affects all my loved ones, especially my children. We are all learning to be present in the current moment. We can't predict the future but we can live our fullest life each and every day. Our greatest blessing is being able to lean on and love one another without knowing completely what tomorrow brings.