I finished my treatments 2 weeks ago today, my hair is growing back (so much so that I now suffer from bed head once again), and my doctor's visits are fewer. Life is good. Life is beautiful. I am so very grateful.
At the same time, I have been somewhat surprised at how emotionally difficult it's been on some days now that I've finished my treatments. I expected to have some time where I was going to have to adjust, but, I have been surprised at how much I have to work at it.
Anyone who knows me is well aware of the fact that I like to have it all figured out and although I've been learning to take life with the one day at a time approach, my natural instinct goes against that. I do, however, continue to move forward and it turns out that
having these various emotions following cancer treatments is quite common. Here is one article that summed it up well.
"So take time to acknowledge the fear, grief and loneliness
you're feeling right now. Then take steps to understand why
you feel these emotions and what you can do about them."
No, I'm not sitting home curled up on the couch with a box of
tissues all day everyday. I don't sit home all the time and feel bad for myself, but sometimes I have had to consciously choose how the day is going to go. Part of that choice comes with acknowledging the feelings that I am having and moving on from there. I'm a work in a progress, sorting through the various emotions that come with making a full recovery.
I thought that by the end of treatments, I'd have emerged from my cocoon, but it turns out that the metamorphosis is taking slightly longer than expected.
Last week I received this card in the mail from a friend....
And on the inside it says,
"And that's really something to celebrate."
"there is something to celebrate every single day of our lives.The next time you find yourself feeling down and grumbling, 'I’m having such a bad day!'think of one thing about that day to celebrate."