Strange...

It's strange seeing my own face in the local newspaper.

And, it's even stranger going to the mailbox and seeing my face (and almost bald head) on the front page of a publication of the newspaper that comes in the mail.  

And the strangest thing... I'm now posting a picture of me with it on my blog... 

Those of you who are tired of seeing me, I apologize and I promise to settle down with posting pictures of myself.  ;)

Happy Weekend!

It sometimes feels like a strange movie, you know, it's all so weird that sometimes I wonder if it is really happening. Eminem

Fall Stuff...

Our weekend was full of fun fall outings including a trip to the apple orchard, 

the pumpkin patch,

 

 and a corn maze.  The kids were so good at the corn maze that we did it three times. 

 Just to be clear, I did not ask E to get in the wheel of the tractor.  He chose to pose that way all on his own.

It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in the Spring, who reaps a harvest in the Autumn. 

B. C. Forbes 

Yes, I did...

I posed without my kerchief for a story in the local newspaper.  Who would have thought?  But, it's true, it happened.  The story is titled "Life After Cancer"....great title, don't you think, because there is life after cancer.  If you're interested in reading the article, here it is.  The story features little ole me along with 5 other breast cancer survivors.  

"You can be a victim of cancer, or a survivor of cancer.  It's a mindset."

-Dave Pelzer

The Great Debate...

...and I'm not talking about a political debate.  I'm talking about the the hair vs. no hair debate.  This past Thursday we had our family photos taken by the talented Tyler from Blue Lily.  When I originally scheduled a session, I thought I would at least be sporting a pretty good buzz cut by this point.  With the almost 2 extra months of chemo cleansing medication, that is not the case.  At this time it's a barely there buzz cut, but it's coming.

Anyway, I decided it was fine and I would sport my barely there buzz cut and my kerchief for the photos.  These "looks" most accurately represent this moment in time for me and my family.  It's how I see myself and it's how my kids and husband see me.  Some of those who are close to me thought I should probably do otherwise, and wear my cranial prosthetic wig.  I tried to respectfully disagree, but probably also got a little defensive about it.  Although I really like my wig, it is not comfortable for me to wear...  I have worn it a handful of times when I felt like I wanted to.  My family photos was not one of those times.  

I started thinking about why we had completely different views on the subject and then I had an AHA moment.  My lack of hair at this point probably represents different things to everyone.  When this journey started for me, I was scared out of my mind about losing my hair and that it would represent that I was sick, very sick.  It was as though I was wearing a flashing neon sign that said, "I have cancer, I am a chemo patient, feel bad for me."  Now, as I near the end of my treatments, it represents something different.    For me, it's that I had cancer, I went through chemo, it sucked, but I kicked its butt.  My hair is growing back...I did it!  To others, it may still represent the initial part of this journey and the fact that this intruder completely barged into our lives.  They want to see me completely as myself, completely healed and healthy, with a full head of hair.  Why have the reminder of a photo glaring you in the face in 5, 10, 15 years?  Well, the truth of the matter is, I don't really know how or what I'm going to feel about this journey that many years down the road, so I had to make a decision I would be ok with at this moment in time.  The thing is, wig or not, I will look at those pictures and know that was the year...the year my life changed forever.  And, it's not all bad.  There are so many bittersweet moments that evolved from this "experience".  And I hope that one day I can look at the photos and say "Hey, that was rough, but we made it through, and man, I rocked the barely there buzz cut." :)

 

Debate is so much better than denial. Julie Walters 

Halfway...

This week I will hit the halfway point in my radiation therapy...whoop, whoop. Things are moving along (I feel the need to whisper that comment...) and the light at the end of the tunnel is getting just a bit brighter with each passing day.   However, I did think that by this point, I would have been upgraded to a better gown.

I think "nursing staff will change gowns on the appropriate day !!!!!!!", means after you're finished with your last day of therapy...so misleading.

Believe you can and you're halfway there. Theodore Roosevelt 

Beware...

...of Malware!  Did anyone get that warning when they logged onto my blog over the past week?  I did!  If you're lucky, that is all you experienced.  Apparently some of us got more than we bargained for...if you were one of the unlucky ones, let me apologize.  Something I downloaded to display my instagram photos caused chaos on my blog and resulted in offensive pop up windows and audio.  I, of course, had no idea what caused the problem, but my Techy husband got to the root of the issue, so thank you Vic...xo!

Being offended is part of being in the real world. Courtney Love 

Pink...

So, if you have been reading my blog for a while now, you are well aware that I really have never been a fan of the color pink.  When the Big C so rudely interrupted our lives this past December, pink was forced upon me.  It's growing on me now and I am even willing to "pinktify" my blog for the month of October for Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

And, in the spirit of becoming more aware, here are some recommendations for cancer prevention, as provided by my nutritionist.

1. Be as lean as possible without becoming underweight.

2. Be physically active for at least 30 minutes every day.

3. Avoid sugary drinks. Limit consumption of energy-dense foods.

4. Eat more of a variety of vegetables, fruits, whole grains and legumes such as beans.

5. Limit consumption of red meats (such as beef, pork, and lamb) and avoid processed meats.

6. If consumed at all, limit alcoholic drinks to 2 for men and 1 for women a day.

7. Limit consumption of salty foods and foods processed with sodium.

8. Don't use supplements to protect against cancer.

Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness. 
James Thurber