Wednesday, February 17, 2016

For as long as I can...

Tonight when I was tucking my Little Miss into bed, she asked, "Momma will you still take care of me when I'm 21?" To which I replied "I will Kaia." For a split second I was caught just being a Momma and forgetting the circumstances that we are faced with right now. Then I paused, swallowed away the tears and continued my response. "I will take care of you for as long as I can."  For a moment I was a "normal" mom, answering a question my 8 year old asked and then the reality of the question hit me like a smack across the face.

F'n Cancer, you suck!

Although we really don't know what could happen from one day to the next, those of us with incurable, Stage IV cancer are faced with the thought more often than most. And, our kids also think about it. There is no way around it. 

Most times we try to be a "normal" family. We go to the movies, for walks, roller skating and to school functions. But sometimes the Big C rears its ugly head and we are all forced to do hard things. Yes, we are all getting a crash course in resilience, but sometimes I would just like it to all go away, especially for my "babies".    

However, although it sucks, we must deal, so that is what we do.

 I get up everyday, grateful for what is there in that moment and try to resist looking beyond it. I'm having more minutes when I "forget" I have the Big C. I am teaching my children to take on more responsibilities, like zipping up my boots because my fingers are hurting too much. 

We are not always angry, sad, or scared. But, sometimes those moments tend to sneak up on us. We do the best we can to address the emotions that go along with them and keep moving forward. So far it seems to be working.

And just to clarify, 
"For as long as I can" for me means a very, very, very, very, very, very long time.

“Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.”

-John Wesley

6 comments:

方松腾 said...

TEN0323
babyliss flat iron
mulberry handbags
longchamp handbags
mulberry handbags
michael kors uk
mulberry handbags
hollister uk
tiffany jewellery
oakley sunglasses uk
fitflops uk
fitflops shoes
ralph lauren outlet
ralph lauren pas cher
tiffany and co
oakley sunglasses wholesale
hollister shirts
tiffany outlet
hollister shirts
coach outlet store
mulberry sale
oakley sunglasses
oakley sunglasses wholesale
ray ban sunglasses
oakley sunglasses
hollister clothing
kate spade handbags
burberry outlet online
coach outlet online
true religion jeans
burberry outlet

John said...

louis vuitton bags
red bottoms outlet online
ugg boots clearance
cheap ray bans
louboutin shoes
canada goose jackets
cheap ugg boots
louboutin outlet
hollister uk
mcm outlet online
birkenstock sale
true religion jeans
coach outlet store
coach outlet online
birkenstocks
michael kors outlet clearance
ysl outlet store
uggs boots
cheap jerseys
reebok shoes
polo ralph lauren outlet
birkenstock outlet
michael kors outlet store
ugg sale
adidas nmd
kate spade outlet
ralph lauren outlet online
coach outlet online
coach outlet clearance
tory burch outlet online
cheap nfl jerseys
birkenstock outlet
adidas supercolor
uggs on sale
polo ralph lauren outlet
louis vuitton outlet
ugg boots australia
coach factory outlet online
cheap jordans
2016825yuanyuan

chenmeinv0 said...

coach outlet store online clearances
coach factory outlet online
celtics jerseys
coach factory online
curry 2
ed hardy outlet
michael kors outlet clearance
louis vuitton outlet
clarisonic mia 3
coach outlet online
2016.10.8xukaimin

wesan michael said...

tiffany and co jewellery
air max thea
http://www.nikedunks.us.org
michael kors outlet store
nike huarache
true religion jeans
nike polo
yeezy boost 350 v2
air jordan retro
louboutin shoes

xumeiqing said...

20161110meiqing
kobe shoes
converse shoes
louis vuitton outlet store
uggs outlet
lebron james shoes 2016
armani exchange
cheap uggs
pandora
louis vuitton handbags outlet
coach outlet store online clearances

aaa kitty20101122 said...

falcons jersey
yeezy boost 350 v2
kobe basketball shoes
lacoste online shop
hermes belts
hermes belts for men
curry 3
michael kors outlet online
nike dunks shoes
adidas superstar