Saturday, June 11, 2016

June...

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew two things for sure, that I wanted to be a mom and a teacher. My brothers were my first students in the basement of our home. I created lessons and took great joy in correcting their work. My desires never changed, I went to college for teaching and became a special education teacher and have been for over twenty two years. Several years after becoming a teacher, I became a momma. 

Although the role I have valued most has certainly been as a mom, it cannot be denied that I also have a passion for teaching, especially in the area of special education. I find great joy in figuring out how students  best learn and helping them to discover just how capable they are as learners.

I took time off from teaching when my children were born and when I was diagnosed with the Big C both times. Since last June, I have taken a leave of absence from a job that I loved. Although I've ignored the fact that I would ultimately have to leave my job, it is now a year later, and it's time for me to face the music. Metastatic Breast Cancer allows no plans, as things seem to change constantly. Because of the uncertainty of MBC and how it has taken over my life, there is really no other option for me right now. It makes me angry that the Big C has caused this, but more than that, it makes me sad to know I have to leave one of the things I love most. It is hard for me to close this chapter of my life and even though I really have no idea what will happen in the future, I know that for now, I have to stop teaching. I'm truly hoping that someday this chapter will have to be edited and reopened, but for now, this is my reality. It's not easy for me to leave something that seemed to be one of my purposes in life, but apparently there is something more out there for me. Right now, I'm still in the process of figuring out just what that is.

In the meantime, I will be a momma to my two children and I will focus on other things I enjoy, such as crafting and photography. 

This has been a hard transition to go from teacher to full-time Big C patient, but we all know now that I can do hard things.







"The less routine the more life."


Amos Bronson Alcott