Nine years ago, at 22 days old, our Little E came home. Ironically, today, exactly nine years later, he was able to visit with his first mom, the one who carried him for the first 9 months of his life, the one who courageously signed a sheet of paper nine years ago relinquishing her rights because she loved him beyond her own wants...his birth mom. I am so happy for him and for her. It's been a while since they have seen each other, so long that he didn't really remember the last visit. I'm quite certain the time in between visits was not intentional, but life happens and time goes on (most times more quickly than we would like). I'm also certain that regardless of physical distance, there is never a day that goes by that he isn't in her heart and mind.
Twelve years ago, when we first started to consider adopting, if you would have told me that I would have invited my nine year old's birth mother over to visit with him, I'm pretty sure I would have vehemently disagreed. But, things change... I once felt threatened by the prospect of such circumstances, but now realize my fears to be silly and self-inflicted. I have educated myself to see the benefits of such on-going contact and involvement. To deny my children a relationship with their birth parents would be to deny them a part of themselves.
And so today when T came to visit, we didn't really anticipate what would happen and how everyone would respond. We just let it happen. She spent most of the time chatting with E in his room and looking around, getting to know him...
You can tell a lot about E by walking around his bedroom...looking at photographs, books, trophies, momentos, his favorite toys ...you can get to know him even better by talking with him and having conversation. That is what happened today, in this house, in the same room where he sleeps tonight. E learned about T and she learned about him...priceless if you ask me.
I realize all situations are not alike and this type of opportunity may not be an option for everyone. We consider ourselves fortunate that our children do have open adoptions and are able to benefit from ongoing contact with their birth families. Thank you T for being brave enough to sign that paper nine years ago and for having the courage to visit E nine years later. You are in all our hearts each and every day.
This morning, E informed me that his sneakers broke and that he needed new ones. This afternoon he has new ones that his birth mom bought for him. He generally takes his shoes off immediately upon entering the house, but today he kept them on until bedtime. :)
It was a good day.
"A Birthmother puts the needs of her child above the wants of her heart"