Friday, June 14, 2013

My Mem...

Two and half weeks ago I went to visit my Memere.  I thought it would be the last time.  She really wasn't doing well and many thought she wouldn't be with us too much longer.  It turns out that by the time I got there, she was her spunky self, even cracking jokes about how she had "almost died" that afternoon.  When we blew each other kisses at the end of the visit, I thought that would be my last memory of her.  

In some ways it was the last time I saw her, because when I saw her this past Monday, she was different than the Memere I have known for the past 40+ years of my life; she was thin, weak, and tired.  She still showed some signs of her spunky 92 year old self, but she was fading.  When my dad and I walked into the room, her face lit up and she grinned a big smile from ear to ear, making the emotionally painful visit so worth every second.  Throughout our stay she asked us to keep talking because she couldn't, and even though she would fall asleep, we did try to keep talking.  At the end of our visit, I kissed my memere, and told her "I love you".  I didn't really expect her to say too much back.  Not only did she respond verbally, she proceeded to wrap her 92 year old arms around me and hugged me.  

That is now my last memory of her and I am so grateful that I have it to tuck away in my heart along with the countless others.   Early this evening, she earned her wings.  I'm certain my grandfather, her Wally, was there to greet her at the gates of heaven so that they could dance; it's been about 30 years since they have been able to do that together.

Some may think that because Memere was 92, it makes it easier to say goodbye.  "She lived a long life".  Yes, she did and that's just it.    My memere has always been there for every birthday, graduation, wedding, christening, and every other celebration.  She loved a good party and loved it even more when the party was for her.  She was proud that she was 92 years old and still lived in the house where she raised her five children, made meals for her brothers and sisters, sewed clothing for her grandchildren and served cookies to her great grandchildren.   

Mem, I will miss your "subtle" hints and your distinct "well!" when something ruffled your feathers.  I will miss bringing my kids to your house on Halloween and they will miss going for a walk to get a treat from their gran-memere with cookies.  I will miss your smile and your laugh.  I will miss our visits together, our conversation and your advice.  I will miss your always kind, affectionate words to me.  I will miss your love.  I will miss you.  

Mem frequently said, "There ain't nothing so bad, that something good doesn't come out of it."  Although this may be true, it is sometimes hard to find the rainbow.  But, my memere would assure us that it's there.  

May the angels lead you to paradise Mem,  I love you!  

"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."  ~Kahlil Gibran


Unknown said...

I am so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful and amazing lady. You and your babies are certainly lucky to have had her in your lives. She was a smart cookie too.

deshacrafts said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I met her several times with my dear friend Suzanne. She was a very special lady.

Anonymous said...

Sorry for your loss Linda. Seinding hugs. At the relay your dad brought your uncle Danny over to see me. Brought back many memories of St. Cecilia's when my husband hand around with Danny. Your grandparents were very involved in the church and both very sweet people. She had an amazing smile!