Monday, June 4, 2012

Stumbling during the climb...

"So, what are you going to do to prevent any further weight gain?", said my oncologist to me this afternoon.  

"Well, I think I'll go home and contemplate that question over a large bowl of ice cream" is what I wanted to reply, but I didn't.  "Well, it's better than losing 15 lbs.", I said.

"Not necessarily.", he said.

I should have gone home and went to bed after my visit to the oncologist because the day really did not end any better.

It seems although I've been feeling really good this cycle, my liver is still not all that pleased with the cleansing process.  My levels are high again this cycle and it seems I'm delayed (again), probably for a week.  Yuck, yuck and double yuck.  Let me just say (shout) this...."CANCER SUCKS!"  Relatively speaking, this is really not a huge issue and I need to get over it, but in the moment, it's frustrating.  As I mentioned to some, the mountain climbing is one thing, but it feels like I'm climbing blind folded with high heels on and this time I didn't just stumble, I was slammed to the ground.  I really was so optimistic that things were fine because I feel pretty darn good, so, when I got the phone call, I wasn't prepared.  Generally, I like to be cautiously optimistic-a phrase I mastered after I was introduced to it by our social worker during the adoption process.  I didn't proceed with caution and so, I was a tad surprised when I saw the number come up on the caller ID.....I think I said something like @#%$#!

But, truly is a bump in the road.  I'm so grateful for the overwhelming support and understanding I have surrounding me.  The hand delivered hugs from my mom and dad, the texts full of love and support from my friends, and the matter of fact, "it's going to be fine" from Victor, and I know I am not alone in this journey and that it really is all going to be ok.

I'm not really a fan of Miley Cyrus, BUT, the words are relevant to the moment...go ahead, take a listen.


"I am having a moment, taking some cleansing breaths, and thanking God that it is nothing more and I am moving forward." (Thank you friend for those wise words.) After all, that is the only way to make it to the top of the mountain.

"Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it."
Ella Wheeler Wilcox

“Whatever the struggle, continue the climb. It may be only one step to the summit.”

-Diane Westlake


Shannon said...

You are doing it! You've soo got this! Really! Muah..xox

Beth said...

So proud to be able to call you my friend! You continue to inspire me each day - MUCH LOVE!!! xoxo

TM0nty said...

Linda, you are amazing! You are a very special person & your strength is truly inspiring. All my love to you & (((((BIG HUGS)))))

linda said...

Thank You Friends...for being right beside me on this climb. xo