Monday, July 30, 2012

Learning to fly....

About 2 months ago, as I waited for my physical therapy appointment, I saw J.  J was someone I met when I was on my third round of chemo.  On this particular day, she was a bit glum, as it was her last day of treatment; she said it was bittersweet.  I "secretly" thought she was a bit crazy.  I mean come on, you are on your last day of treatment, celebrate for goodness sake.  

As I approach my final round of chemo, I can now say "I get it".  Don't get me wrong, I will be celebrating as I end this portion of my treatment.  It has been a long time coming, and it has not been all that fun.  But, I do have some understanding of J's feelings.  Ending this part of treatment doesn't come without some anxiety, some fear about moving on.  During this treatment, my cleansing, the medicine has been hard at work ridding my body of those dangerous Big C cells.  I have been at the doctor's office at least one time per week and have been monitored and checked continuously.  They know me there; I can't remember the last time I had to give my name.  

Now, as this phase comes to an end, I need to hold onto Faith that all this treatment did its job, that my body can regain its capacity to operate like that of a typical 39 year old, and that it can also continue to ward off those evil Big C intruders.  

It's like a bird learning to fly....
I feel as though I'm being pushed from the nest and, ready or not, I sure as hell better flap my wings....

“The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply that they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings”

-James Matthew Barrie

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