It's the eve before my 2nd annual MRI, 3rd MRI total. I'd like to say it's old hat by now and that I haven't really thought twice about it, but that is not the truth. The truth is...I can't wait until it's over and really, I can't wait until I hear the nurse at the Breast Health Center say "your MRI is clear" when I call for the results next week. Having these tests just reminds me once again that there was an unexpected intruder lurking in my body 2 years ago, like I even need a reminder at this point. Tests like these do a good job of bringing up things you'd rather just forget. They help to rehash the ugly and that is always just a little unsettling. It starts with the questions on the phone...
"So, you have a history of breast cancer?"
"And you had a mastectomy?"
"On what side?"
It goes on, but I'll spare you the pain of going through them along with me. Why must I answer those questions each time I have a test? Isn't it in my file? You have to confirm it for the 100th time? (perhaps that's an exaggeration, but really...why?)
Now I will get to my appointment tomorrow and guess what? I'll have to complete a questionnaire and answer all the questions AGAIN, but this time it will be on paper. It's no wonder I feel myself getting in a funk.
The good news...the test is at 8:00 in the morning. I'll be done bright and early and the day will not revolve around my anticipation of what's to come. I will, however, have to distract myself from thinking about the results until next week. I'm getting good at the art of distraction and positive thinking, however, so I should do just fine.
re·hash[v. ree-hash; n. ree-hash]
verb (used with object)
to work up (old material) in a new form.