Wednesday, October 21, 2015

I am loved...

I know I have talked (written actually) about it before, but here I go again. One of the silver linings of this diagnosis is the amount of love I feel on a daily's really indescribable. Although I felt loved before, this is different, and very humbling. 

I am shy by nature. This may come as a surprise to some of you as I'm willing to share just about anything on this blog. But, it's true. I remember being a little girl, hiding behind my mother and her teasing me that the umbilical cord was still attached. I have been teaching special education students for 20 years, I am secure in my role, yet I still get hives during almost every meeting (ask my co-workers). That's one of the primary reasons I started loving scarves, as they can at least hide some of my neck that is covered in red blotches. That being said, I'm passionate about what I believe in and will not sit back and twiddle my thumbs if something is not right in my eyes...passion over shyness for sure! This is one more reason why I tell my story; I want to inform, educate, spread the word and put truth and a real "face" to, not only Metastatic Breast Cancer, but all the other things I feel passionate about.

As a result of me sharing my story, I have so many people (in addition to my family) motivating me to arise every morning and prepare myself to conquer the day with hope and determination. My anchors are abundant and keep me strong. I am loved.

My cousin participated in this year's local Street Painting Festival, dedicated his art to me and raised $200 for Metastatic Breast Cancer. Then he wrote this post on his blog. It truly left me speechless with teary eyes. I am loved.

I frequently receive gifts, many from people I know and others I have never met. Some gifts even come without signatures. I am loved.

I receive cards almost everyday. I think I'm close to 300 by now. The other day I received about a dozen pink cards made by some students at the school where I teach (taught). The cards and sweet messages fill my heart. I am loved.
People near and far are Leaping for Linda and leaving thoughtful messages for me on the Facebook Page. I am loved.

We have others mowing our lawn, driving our children places, and sending thoughtful text messages. My entire family can feel the love.

So, yes this Cancer thing is no picnic in the park and each and everyday is a struggle. I fear for what may come and sometimes my emotions overtake the moment I'm doing my best to enjoy. But, I am loved and I literally feel embraced by the kindness and caring of others. Not everyone has experienced this much love and most often we only share what we think of others after they are no longer with us. Hmmmm, why is that?   

All this attention is not that comfortable for me. But, I am very grateful to feel that I am loved, so thank you for that.

"I've never been interested in the event when I'm the center of attention."
-Helmut Lang

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