Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Be the light...

 This Big C thing is hard for me, the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but it is with the support of my anchors that I am able to keep moving anchors that I sometimes feel are forgotten.

In previous posts I have shared that it is often most difficult for me to deal with the fact that those who love me and are closest to me also have this cross to bear. It's hard not to feel guilty about everyone's life being turned upside down. I'm working on getting over that.

Those primarily affected by this nonsense are my family that I live with, my husband and my children, my mother and father, my bff soul sister and her family, and my brothers and their families. I have countless friends, relatives, and even strangers also traveling this treacherous road with me. The road is unknown, and is also dark and scary, not only for me, but for all those who so willingly have come along. We are all finding the path one day at a time. Some days we cruise through and other days we trip and fall. But we always always get back up.

I have such a sea of strong anchors, yet I often wonder who is taking care of them. They have each other for sure and that is powerful. But, they too, need to be supported, loved and lifted up throughout this process. 

Although I'm 43 years old(gulp), I'm still someone's daughter, a daughter with Stage IV Breast Cancer. I really cannot even begin to fathom what it's like to be given news like that about your child. My parents are unbelievably strong, faith-filled people who see the positive in situations. They always give 100% of themselves to others and now is no different, except that they are giving more like 200%. They run errands for me, transport their grandchildren to all the after school activities, send meals, fill my heart and do all things with sincere love. And these things are solely the things they are doing for me. They have two other children, jobs, and an aging mother. 

I am blessed they are two of my strongest anchors. 

Yes, I am the one diagnosed with MBC. I am the one who is tired, nauseous, and achy. I am the one taking over 75 supplements a day to ward off side effects. I am the one who swallows 84 chemotherapy pills every cycle. I am the one who has to have the injections, infusions, scans, and blood work. 

Yes, I am the one, but I am not doing this alone, I'm not allowed to because my anchors don't let me. I am supported, encouraged and loved beyond words on a daily basis. I am grateful. They drive me to appointments, lift me when I'm down, and laugh and cry with me. 

"Being loved deeply comes with a aren't allowed to hurt alone."


As I was writing this post, I started thinking about a pot of flowers. Think about what would happen if you only ever watered the flower in the middle of the pot.
It's important to water not only the flower in the middle, but all the flowers. Those flowers support and protect each other. Together all the flowers can be strong and beautiful.

That being said, we are all in this life together. We are here to support and love on one another. This doesn't mean developing an extravagant plan to help each other. Say hello, smile, ask someone how they are doing, what you can do to help, offer a meal, send a card, lend a listening ear, give a hug and just love and embrace them completely. Be the light that someone needs in the midst of the darkness. 
I'm a blessed person to know what is feels like to have others shine their light on me, as it happens daily. Now I'm just feeling like I'd like to share the light.

So, go forth and shine the light people. Spread love and kindness everywhere you go, especially to those in your own circle, in your own family, the ones who right now need it most. 

"Little things seem nothing, but they give peace, like those meadow flowers which individually seem odorless but all together perfume the air."

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