Tonight I have to set my alarm for 5:00 am because tomorrow morning I am having yet another surgery. Let's call this part 2 of my reconstruction surgery. All together there will be four parts. Part one was the toughest and that is already behind me. Amen to that!
Today when I told my kids I was having surgery tomorrow, they barely reacted. In some ways I was relieved; I don't want them to worry. But, the fact that this has become routine stinks. Yes, this surgery is part of something I elected to do, but I think the surprise hysterectomy I had last month pushed me to my limit. So tonight I have the Let's Just Do It attitude.
I am ready...
Ready for this to be behind me.
Ready to move on without counting the days until the next surgery.
Ready to be completely healed physically and mentally.
Ready to move past the Big C.
Ready to just be a wife and mother, not a patient.
My life hasn't been at a standstill while in the midst of all these surgeries. In fact for a few days before surgery I seem to get manic and accomplish a lot and try to ignore the upcoming "event". However, I do still seem to feel the anticipation of the next thing lurking. I'm looking forward to just moving on without counting down the days until the next visit to the O.R.
“We are always getting ready to live, but never living”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson