Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Focusing on the light...

Here it is Tuesday evening. The meds finally arrived via FedEx today. I will hopefully be starting tomorrow after I have a "deep"(yes that's what they call it) conversation with someone at Dana Farber about the procedure for taking the chemotherapy pills.  I'm not looking forward to this "deep" talk, as I'm not one to enjoy listening to the side effects and such, thus one of the many  reasons I have a crew that comes with me to every appointment. They listen, and I generally remove myself from the situation. It's just all too much for me sometimes. But, I'll be putting my big girl panties on and dealing with it tomorrow (and hopefully stopping them from saying too much so they don't scare the poop out of me).

Meanwhile, we continue on with each day trying to make it as "normal" as possible, even if in between those moments, we are making phone calls, getting multiple blood tests, mailing urine samples for testing, or filling out paperwork. Sorry, probably too much information there, just keeping it real. 

The good news...most of the big, initial tests are complete at this point. And really, the good moments far outweigh the not so good moments on a daily basis, so for that I am grateful. I continue to do my best to literally take one day at a time and move forward. It's hard to see the light sometimes and I have some short moments when I get stuck. Sometimes I need a tap and sometimes I may even need a shove, but I am doing it, with the help of the village supporting me.

As I go to sleep tonight, it is my hope that I take the medicine with little side effects, that it begins its work immediately to tame the beast and and that every day gets a little easier.

It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.

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