Thursday, July 30, 2015

Is it gone?

After people ask me, "How are you doing?", the second question they generally ask is "How are your kids doing?" 

Overall, I feel like they are doing fine. They are two different beings who are three years apart in age so they are also dealing with this situation very differently. Little Miss is 8. She was barely 5 the first time and I'm not sure she really understands the significance of what is going on. She also lacks the anxiety her brother has so most times she really seems to be acting like life is as it was just a couple of months ago.

E on the other hand is a bit more nervous. He was 8 the first time and now 11. I don't like to go into too much detail about my kiddos because it's their business and not mine to share. But, I will say he's super insightful and tends to withhold his questions, concerns and anxiety to himself. 

Yesterday he overheard some of our discussion about the reflex returning and some questions started coming. "What does that mean? Is that a good thing?" 
I was very happy he was actually asking the questions.

Today, I went to a quick doctor's appointment and when I got back, he ran to the car to ask, "Is it all gone, Mom?" UGH, another tear trigger for me. My sensitive and scared boy asking if the beast inside my body is gone. "No E, not yet, unfortunately it doesn't happen that fast." But, I'm working on it for sure. That's the plan...kick the beast to the curb!

We are honest with our children, but do not go into too much "adult" detail. Goodness, it's hard for us to process, never mind small children. We have also made sure they have other people they can talk to about this "yuck" and both have been very receptive and done very well with that resource. 

This is a complicated journey for all of us and each of us deals with it differently. Being a parent is tough work. Being a parent with the Big C just adds another layer to the already challenging job.  I wrote my feelings about my kiddos 3 years ago when the intruder entered unannounced. You can read it here.

Truthfully, I would say that my children having to deal with this is by far the thing that is the most stressful for me. It just seems so unfair for them. But, again, in an attempt to find a silver lining, I imagine that this journey will help build character and resilience in my children. They will be stronger, just like the rest of us, for it. I have faith that they really will be just fine!

"Persistence and resilience only come from having been given the chance to work though difficult problems."

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Hi Linda,thinking of you daily. Hope you are feeling ok.