Pink Skies

I'll take this as a sign that the heavens are rallying around me.

We all live under the same sky,

but we don't all have the same horizon.

~Konrad Adenauer

Really?

I looked at Victor this morning in the Dr.'s office and said, "Is this really our life?" He just stared back at me. He takes things in small pieces and really doesn't look at the bigger picture. I have something to learn from him. The big picture scares the %$&@ out of me, and really why go down the road that doesn't yet exist? It's a waste of time and energy.

Now that I'm done with that tangent...we met with another surgeon today, and....he had me at "hello"...well, almost. He was kind, thorough, compassionate, confident, and oh, so very smart. He will be working with an entire team, reviewing my case and confirming his initial thoughts....the idea of having an entire team is definitely comforting. The way things are looking now, I will be having surgery within the next couple of weeks. I'm praying that an upcoming MRI does not show any other spots...no surprises...I never did like them and now, well, that goes without saying.

So, for now, yes, this REALLY is my life...surreal as it may seem. I am blessed to have loving and caring family and friends, doctors and medicines to aggressively treat this disease and faith (most of the time) that things really will be ok.

Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.
Henry Ward Beecher

I have a little boy who is turning 8 very soon and I have a party to plan. I think this year's theme is Mario...more to come with that topic.

Random....

It is 10:00 on Thursday night and usually I turn myself off from the Cancer "thinking", but due to tomorrow's early morning appointment I am having trouble doing that. It's hard to get away from it...the constant wondering and worrying.

Let's get things done people...I get tired of sitting around thinking about what is going to happen...let's just do it! Hoping and Praying that tomorrow's appointment will finalize some plans and move onto the next phase in this oh so lovely journey.

I'm completely overwhelmed by the well wishes, prayers and love showered upon me over the past few days. Really, the outpouring of love and support is humbling...I'm one lucky girl!

I got a new I phone today and the first app I downloaded was instagram...oh so fun! I have to have something to keep me entertained while I'm sitting in all those doctor visits.

This is a Princess and the Pea that Little Miss got as a gift from her birth family for Christmas...it's really cute! (1st ever instagram photo)

Endurance is nobler than strength, and

patience than beauty.

John Ruskin

Time to Embrace

It's Embrace the Camera day over at Emily's Blog. So we're embracing with another picture from Christmas Eve...this one a bit more realistic of what occurs when attempting to take a photo.

Today we're not only embracing the camera, but we're embracing the moment....

Rejoice in the things that are present; all else is beyond thee.

-Montaigne

This is certainly a tough concept for me, as I like to be in control of the situation at all times. But that's not working for me these days and so I'm forced to do the rejoicing in the present moment. Sometimes I'm not so good at it, but I'm a work in progress.

About the color pink...

I don't like it really. When Little Miss was born I would dread the pink she would receive, and her birth announcement was certainly not pink. As Little Miss gets older she has become more and more fond of pink...in fact, now it's her favorite color and it has slowly begun to grow on me.

It seems now it's being forced upon me and perhaps now it will become my new favorite color, like it or not!

I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I BELIEVE IN PINK. I believe happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and ....I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES.

-Audrey Hepburn

An Itch...

It's funny how a moment initially seen as so insignificant can put you into a whirlwind and completely change your life. Christmas morning as I watched my kids open their presents from Santa, I had an itch....so I scratched it...and found a lump. Not a typical lump, but the kind the doctors warn you about.

"How do I know what to look for? What will it feel like?"

"Would you be able to feel a marble under your skin?"

I felt the marble and then said a few curse words under my breath and tried my best to enjoy the moment taking place in front of me, the moment overtaken by the reality that I felt a hard marble-like lump in my breast!

Less than one week later, on New Year's Eve, my fears were confirmed...."your biopsy tested positive for cancer"...the "C" word. Happy #!@#%$! New Year!

Today the oncologist looked me in the eye and said "we are going to cure your cancer, it won't be easy, but it will be cured." Amen to that! I will be ok. I will have surgery, I will have anxiety, I will lose my hair, I will be tired, but I will be ok and so will my family...we can do this, and we will!

And just because I don't want this post to be a complete downer....

“You can’t change a negative situation with bad feelings. If you keep reacting negatively, your bad feelings will magnify and multiply the negativity.” ~Rhonda Byrne

How?

I have been known to say "I just don't know how people deal with that? There is no way I would be able to do it..."

Life is hard , sometimes it just downright sucks and guess what? I am one of those people dealing with something waaaay bigger than me. The how?......Well...there is no choice in the matter. I have to deal, I have to give it all I've got and come out the winner on the other end.

Silly Face Games,

two little angels,

and unbelievably supportive family and friends will make the road all that much easier.

“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”