Sunday, February 26, 2012

Watch Me

A friend recently posted this on his Facebook page.  Of course I loved it and told him I was stealing it.

Let me be honest. I would say about 90% of me believes this and the other 10%...UGH!  I strive everyday to get to 100%, but geez, it's so hard!  ...and, for the past few days, I've been in a bit of a rut.  I'm feeling sorry for myself, and that just isn't a good thing...I'm wallowing way too much.  I figured if I confess to this behavior, I will make myself more accountable to knock it off.  I didn't even start the chemo treatments yet and I'm allowing it to get the best of me....not good!

I've never been one to exude confidence and I guess that goes with fighting the Big C as well.  The husband says maybe I'll be able to order him a coffee at the drive-thru after I beat this thing.  You see I'm painfully shy and have never really been all that comfortable with attention, thus leading me to feel anxious and overwhelmed.  I'm not that fond of people watching me. (I know I've mentioned this recently and I did also touch upon it in my Perception Post a while back). Yes, it is even difficult for me to order a coffee at Dunkin Donuts (although I have gotten better about it).  But I think he's right, I'm pretty sure I will be able sing the order at the drive-thru by the time I kick this intruder's big sorry @$$!  Adding cancer survivor to my resume is sure to give me a boost in my confidence.

"I can and I will." has been my mantra for the past couple days; now I just have to internalize it and its meaning.  This may be one of the few times in my life I would welcome people to 
"Watch Me".

"Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing."
-Author Unknown

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